The signature produces a laser pointer-equivalent light, which sets the end of the pencil on fire. And the air is 95% oxygen. An oil drum, a kerosene lamp and a fireplace. Did I mention there's nothing to light them with?
I rub the salt and sand together until one or the other produces a spark, which I use to melt the ice, which happens to be solid oxygen. The spark is still there to catch the liquid. Card, piece of paper, tree.
The Card, which had been cursed for eternity to despise Paper, who was cruelly before its love, its passion. It asked the great Tree for help. The Card knew it loved Paper, but on sight, it despised the Paper. The Tree suggested to Card, "Why don't you try making a bomb to put yourself out of your misery?" The Card smiled as best it could, then it returned to its grave pokerface. It flipped the Tree a middle finger, then walked away and ran into Paper. Paper...the same beauty Card had fallen in love with so many years ago. Paper pulled out an explosive device! Card felt a little strange. Tree was concerned about the nearby woodpecker. Grandpa Yehsmahnn said OUI! And then the world hit itself in confusion- KABOOM
I leave a scattergun, a fish finger, and custard.
I am the restless haunt of DBF.
I'm in ur walls, eetin' ur pilloes! So get away from mah corn! I'm in ur cornfield, WHISPERING IN UR EARS!!!
You rub the badge with the stick until it produces a spark, which grows and melts the ice. The badge is a magic badge, so it extracts all the oxygen from the now-melted ice and separates it from the hydrogen. The spark then drifts over. A dragon, a bucket of nitroglycerine and a stick of dynamite.
The dragon, who didn't like explosives, decided to dispose of the stick of dynamite and the bucket of nitro by throwing them into a volcano. He then realized that this was a mistake, and flew in after them, tears in his eyes (which became jelly beans), as he raced for them to save the world. Smoke billowed from his nostrils in exhaustion as he screamed downward to the core of the volcano. The bucket and the dynamite landed safely on a stone in the crater, unharmed and just far enough from heat. The dragon had no idea where they landed. He kept racing, to a depth that he could not pull back up! He flew into the lava and died, and the explosive gas inside him, well, exploded. It sent flying chunks of dragon pulp in all directions, knocking the previously secure nitro and dynamite into the core and- KERBLAMMO!
The next person gets a football, a box of chocolates, and a lawnmower.
I am the restless haunt of DBF.
I'm in ur walls, eetin' ur pilloes! So get away from mah corn! I'm in ur cornfield, WHISPERING IN UR EARS!!!
The football is kicked so that it knocks the chocolate (which has been in the freezer for a week now and is very hard) into the mower, jamming it up. The mower's internal combustion engine... combusts. A texta, a blade of grass and a pixel.
The pixel, who had never seen a true program before in his life, was in awe at the sight of TEXT! It was amazing! Someone had arranged text in the shape of a blade of grass! It was genius! GEEEEEEEEEEEEENIIIIIIIIIIUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSS!!!!
And then the pixel encountered a fatal error, and it exploded into a thousand mini-pixels.
I leave a trout, a salmon, and a fish.
I am the restless haunt of DBF.
I'm in ur walls, eetin' ur pilloes! So get away from mah corn! I'm in ur cornfield, WHISPERING IN UR EARS!!!
Mr. Sweatyman, slightly singed and certainly sweaty from the unfortunate incident of his combusting tale, was on his computer printing out more paper to cut. He started sweating more when he looked in his wallet and noticed that he'd eviscerated his hundred dollar bills. His eyes, wide as saucers, bored into his cavernous wallet, plastered with the green little snippets. The sweat had made them bond together like a rather expensive wallet wallpaper, and his pennies were cradled ever so gently in a pool of stagnant sweat. Unbelievably, the man grew even sweatier as his printer ran out of ink. He soaked through his shirt, his undershirt, his tie, and his trench coat, to the point that the man seemed to have just fallen into a pool of rancid wastewater. He looked up at his computer, and the screen had turned a lovely shade of blue death. He chuckled once, spit (or perhaps sweat) flying from his jowls. Suddenly, the man took up his scissors, cut his wallet in two, and stabbed his computer monitor, creating an explosion only possible through the scenario of extreme sweat production, a plastered wallet, a pair of safety scissors, and a blue screened computer. The end...?
I leave a public restroom, a line of people, and a person who reeeeeally needs to use the restroom.
I am the restless haunt of DBF.
I'm in ur walls, eetin' ur pilloes! So get away from mah corn! I'm in ur cornfield, WHISPERING IN UR EARS!!!
Well, that guy reeeeeeeeally need to go, so he shot everyone in the head to make the line move faster. When he gets to the toilet, he sighs. Well he held it too long, and the toilet exploded.