[M:977802]
Post by Qwerty on Oct 6, 2011 2:54:42 GMT
Had to write it for English. I'll post a day a day (ish).
Day 1:
I just got word from God that he intends to destroy all of mankind. That's fine as far as I'm concerned; all of my neighbors are complete jerks. God says I'm better than them, so I get to live. I apparently have to make an ark that can contain two of every species of animal, and it has to be 300 by 50 by 30 cubits. How I am going to fit about 2,735,110 animals into a ship this size is beyond me, but I'm sure God has something figured out. I also apparently have to bring every kind of food in existence, for humans and animals. I hope it doesn't spoil. People may work out how to chill food to keep it for long periods of time in the future, but I sure don't know how to do so.
Day 2:
I told my neighbors about my project and cleared the land. They all laughed at me. Something about genetic varation, inbreeding, parasites, and penguins. I'm not sure what a penguin is, but it probably isn't important. My sons and my wife are helping me build this. I'm having to destroy a good portion of the nearby forest to build it, but it won't matter once Earth is flooded at any rate. God didn't specify what to do with plants, so I gathered two of each kind of seed regardless. We should have room for a few hundred thousand carefully preserved and chilled seeds somewhere around here.
Day 5:
God told me about the arctic and antarctic creatures. Apparently this climate isn't suitable for all species, especially for an extended period of time. As such I have Japheth working on a water cooling system for the ark. Depending on water temperature, air temperature, etc, I should be able to transfer the heat around the ark.
Day 6:
I just remembered the bacteria. Most should thrive just fine in the ocean, but a lot of them won't be able to survive there. I'll bring nutrients and petri dishes for them to survive. Also, God told me about the parasites. They need hosts to survive, and occasionally end up killing the host, and as we don't have extras this could end badly. There are a few parasites, such as head lice, that can only possibly survive on a human, which is a shame for Shem. I have volunteered him for that job, and I hope he survives
Day 7:
Finally, the ark is done! God seems to have somehow made it bigger on the inside, so at least I'll be able to fit the many creatures. They seem to be pretty well maintained, although I have a feeling it will take more than wood to separate the carnivores from everyone else. I have an entire section of the ark dedicated to food, and we have some animals working on shifts to operate the cooling system for it, but it may not last us the entire trip.
I've unfortunately had to deny God's orders when it comes to mayflies. Those creatures could never survive this trip in one generation, so I've brought enough that by the time we land there should be at least two left that haven't died off due to age and inbreeding. Whatever happens after we land is not my fault.
Also, just today God told me I actually need seven of each clean creature and bird. I wish he would make up his mind sometimes, I'm going to have to sacrifice many species of tree to keep them alive. The dinosaurs can't fit onto the ship, apparently, but they scare me regardless so there's no great loss there. God's given me an additional week to sort out the changes before he starts the flood, genetic diversity or not.
Day 14:
It's all sorted. The flood has started. It is also, coincidentally, my six-hundredth birthday. Thank you, God, for giving me migraines as a birthday present. The ship should be lifting at any moment now.
Day 15:
We are officially underway. Everything seems to be going well so far. This tapeworm isn't doing me any favors, but we all must take our lumps, I suppose. A man of 600 should not have to deal with these things.
Day 54:
The rain has finally abated. Somehow, the water seems to be covering even Everest. The sea level has increased by 19367 cubits. I'm not sure what the source of this water is, since surely Earth doesn't have that much water. I hear rumours of God draining some planet called “Mars”. It is of no worry to me, of course.
Everything down there is dead, of course. It's a pity for most of the creatures. After all, it was humans that were wicked, not sloths or elephants. The fish live on, and I'm sure they will be happy until the sea falls again. Someday people are going to find fish skeletons in the middle of the desert and be very confused indeed!
Day 57:
Everything is dead. God's goal is accomplished. Why are we still up here? I have noticed that it has been really windy lately for some reason.
Day 84:
One month since the rain stopped. Honestly, I'm not sure God knows how to get rid of all the extra water he added to Earth's environment.
Day 204:
It has been five months since the rain stopped (and over half a year since we started), but apparently God has figured out how to get rid of the water because we're run aground at Ararat. We aren't done yet, though. The ocean is still far higher than it should be.
Day 244:
I've taken matters into my own hand and sent out a raven. The raven should be able to help with the water, somehow. I made sure to remind it not to get rid of the oceans or lakes. I also sent a dove to check up on the water.
The dove later returned. No land in sight, apparently. I hope the raven hurries.
Day 251:
I sent the dove out again. It returned with an olive branch. How any olive trees survived this massive flood is beyond me, but I did find my olive seeds suspiciously missing from my collection. I'm sure God had something to do with it. I asked the dove where land is, but naturally the dove isn't talking. I forget that these creatures do not speak my language sometimes.
Day 258:
I sent the dove out yet again. It never returned. The world must be dry. I've taken off the cover of the ark, and the ground is indeed dry. Why I didn't think of this earlier is beyond me. It's January 1st, just over eight and a half months since we began construction of the ark, and the ordeal is finally over.
Day 316:
Earth is finally dry enough to leave this ship. God's told us to abandon this ship and repopulate the planet, but how that will happen from only two parents per species without serious inbreeding issues is up to him.
Also, God's asked me to offer one of each creature of which I brought seven as a sacrifice to him. It seems like a bit of a waste to take the animals all the way over here, but I suppose he did give me an opportunity to survive the flood, so fair is fair.
He's promised not to destroy Earth again. That's good as far as I'm concerned. I don't think I could take another one of these incidents. Ten months stuck on any ship would be enough to drive a man crazy, let alone a ship with millions of species of animal in it.
Day 317:
On second thought, I'll just have Japheth rework the DNA of the creatures to create genetic diversity. I have no idea how he will do that using our technology, but I trust he can.
Day 1:
I just got word from God that he intends to destroy all of mankind. That's fine as far as I'm concerned; all of my neighbors are complete jerks. God says I'm better than them, so I get to live. I apparently have to make an ark that can contain two of every species of animal, and it has to be 300 by 50 by 30 cubits. How I am going to fit about 2,735,110 animals into a ship this size is beyond me, but I'm sure God has something figured out. I also apparently have to bring every kind of food in existence, for humans and animals. I hope it doesn't spoil. People may work out how to chill food to keep it for long periods of time in the future, but I sure don't know how to do so.
Day 2:
I told my neighbors about my project and cleared the land. They all laughed at me. Something about genetic varation, inbreeding, parasites, and penguins. I'm not sure what a penguin is, but it probably isn't important. My sons and my wife are helping me build this. I'm having to destroy a good portion of the nearby forest to build it, but it won't matter once Earth is flooded at any rate. God didn't specify what to do with plants, so I gathered two of each kind of seed regardless. We should have room for a few hundred thousand carefully preserved and chilled seeds somewhere around here.
Day 5:
God told me about the arctic and antarctic creatures. Apparently this climate isn't suitable for all species, especially for an extended period of time. As such I have Japheth working on a water cooling system for the ark. Depending on water temperature, air temperature, etc, I should be able to transfer the heat around the ark.
Day 6:
I just remembered the bacteria. Most should thrive just fine in the ocean, but a lot of them won't be able to survive there. I'll bring nutrients and petri dishes for them to survive. Also, God told me about the parasites. They need hosts to survive, and occasionally end up killing the host, and as we don't have extras this could end badly. There are a few parasites, such as head lice, that can only possibly survive on a human, which is a shame for Shem. I have volunteered him for that job, and I hope he survives
Day 7:
Finally, the ark is done! God seems to have somehow made it bigger on the inside, so at least I'll be able to fit the many creatures. They seem to be pretty well maintained, although I have a feeling it will take more than wood to separate the carnivores from everyone else. I have an entire section of the ark dedicated to food, and we have some animals working on shifts to operate the cooling system for it, but it may not last us the entire trip.
I've unfortunately had to deny God's orders when it comes to mayflies. Those creatures could never survive this trip in one generation, so I've brought enough that by the time we land there should be at least two left that haven't died off due to age and inbreeding. Whatever happens after we land is not my fault.
Also, just today God told me I actually need seven of each clean creature and bird. I wish he would make up his mind sometimes, I'm going to have to sacrifice many species of tree to keep them alive. The dinosaurs can't fit onto the ship, apparently, but they scare me regardless so there's no great loss there. God's given me an additional week to sort out the changes before he starts the flood, genetic diversity or not.
Day 14:
It's all sorted. The flood has started. It is also, coincidentally, my six-hundredth birthday. Thank you, God, for giving me migraines as a birthday present. The ship should be lifting at any moment now.
Day 15:
We are officially underway. Everything seems to be going well so far. This tapeworm isn't doing me any favors, but we all must take our lumps, I suppose. A man of 600 should not have to deal with these things.
Day 54:
The rain has finally abated. Somehow, the water seems to be covering even Everest. The sea level has increased by 19367 cubits. I'm not sure what the source of this water is, since surely Earth doesn't have that much water. I hear rumours of God draining some planet called “Mars”. It is of no worry to me, of course.
Everything down there is dead, of course. It's a pity for most of the creatures. After all, it was humans that were wicked, not sloths or elephants. The fish live on, and I'm sure they will be happy until the sea falls again. Someday people are going to find fish skeletons in the middle of the desert and be very confused indeed!
Day 57:
Everything is dead. God's goal is accomplished. Why are we still up here? I have noticed that it has been really windy lately for some reason.
Day 84:
One month since the rain stopped. Honestly, I'm not sure God knows how to get rid of all the extra water he added to Earth's environment.
Day 204:
It has been five months since the rain stopped (and over half a year since we started), but apparently God has figured out how to get rid of the water because we're run aground at Ararat. We aren't done yet, though. The ocean is still far higher than it should be.
Day 244:
I've taken matters into my own hand and sent out a raven. The raven should be able to help with the water, somehow. I made sure to remind it not to get rid of the oceans or lakes. I also sent a dove to check up on the water.
The dove later returned. No land in sight, apparently. I hope the raven hurries.
Day 251:
I sent the dove out again. It returned with an olive branch. How any olive trees survived this massive flood is beyond me, but I did find my olive seeds suspiciously missing from my collection. I'm sure God had something to do with it. I asked the dove where land is, but naturally the dove isn't talking. I forget that these creatures do not speak my language sometimes.
Day 258:
I sent the dove out yet again. It never returned. The world must be dry. I've taken off the cover of the ark, and the ground is indeed dry. Why I didn't think of this earlier is beyond me. It's January 1st, just over eight and a half months since we began construction of the ark, and the ordeal is finally over.
Day 316:
Earth is finally dry enough to leave this ship. God's told us to abandon this ship and repopulate the planet, but how that will happen from only two parents per species without serious inbreeding issues is up to him.
Also, God's asked me to offer one of each creature of which I brought seven as a sacrifice to him. It seems like a bit of a waste to take the animals all the way over here, but I suppose he did give me an opportunity to survive the flood, so fair is fair.
He's promised not to destroy Earth again. That's good as far as I'm concerned. I don't think I could take another one of these incidents. Ten months stuck on any ship would be enough to drive a man crazy, let alone a ship with millions of species of animal in it.
Day 317:
On second thought, I'll just have Japheth rework the DNA of the creatures to create genetic diversity. I have no idea how he will do that using our technology, but I trust he can.
