Post by Fringe Pioneer on Apr 23, 2011 3:55:06 GMT
Scientia gratia scientiae.
Introduction and Nota Bene
Welcome to Borderline Science, Incorporated. I'm Jacob Smith, Founder and Chief Executive Officer of Borderline Science. Before I continue, I have to ask that you don't abbreviate our name, because it can be very misleading. We're not BS, we're Borderline Science. Got it? Good - moving on.
About Us
Borderline Science specializes with applied sciences for both common consumers and various defense departments across the world, especially with our good friend the American DoD. Generally, we're contracted to research something by someone, we do the research, we provide results, we get paid huge sums, we downscale from military grade to commercial grade, and we mass produce the developed solution to consumers. Sometimes, we propose some new research and we get federal grants. With those grants, we then do the research we proposed and produce results. We always produce results, because there's nothing Science can't do. Our research has proved this many times over, and our investors see that clear as day.
Case Studies
We're always doing research to find the best that Science has to offer, because we want to make the world a better place to live - simple as that. As a matter of fact, let me show you some case studies to show for it. We have done many things over the years.
We used Science to learn and make many more things, such as dietary aids, new forms of transportation, military solutions, and even industrial processes, but those weren't quite as good or legal as some of our crowning achievements.
Awards and Recognition
We had news coverage, but those were mostly about our commercial failures, so we won't go over those. I don't think we won any awards yet, so we'll just move on. I will say that we did much better than the geniuses who helped alien invaders bring Earth to her knees - that failure speaks for itself.
Defense Contractors
If you require Applied Science for a solution, you came to the right company! Call one of our representatives today!
Introduction and Nota Bene
Welcome to Borderline Science, Incorporated. I'm Jacob Smith, Founder and Chief Executive Officer of Borderline Science. Before I continue, I have to ask that you don't abbreviate our name, because it can be very misleading. We're not BS, we're Borderline Science. Got it? Good - moving on.
About Us
Borderline Science specializes with applied sciences for both common consumers and various defense departments across the world, especially with our good friend the American DoD. Generally, we're contracted to research something by someone, we do the research, we provide results, we get paid huge sums, we downscale from military grade to commercial grade, and we mass produce the developed solution to consumers. Sometimes, we propose some new research and we get federal grants. With those grants, we then do the research we proposed and produce results. We always produce results, because there's nothing Science can't do. Our research has proved this many times over, and our investors see that clear as day.
Case Studies
We're always doing research to find the best that Science has to offer, because we want to make the world a better place to live - simple as that. As a matter of fact, let me show you some case studies to show for it. We have done many things over the years.
- Smart Phantoms - These missiles use classified technologies to track things and blow them up to smithereens. They're so good, they're like artificially intelligent kamikazes. Unfortunately, they became sentient and targeted their creators, destroying one of our research facilities in the process. Our current contractor stopped funding us after that. It's not as if their building was blown up!
- Transparisteel - NASA asked us for things to make going to space easier, so we got our mineral engineers and chemists to use Science to find the answer. Science responded kindly with transparisteel. It's strong as steel and clear as glass - just the thing for viewports in spacecraft. NASA later decided to move on to inflatable space station pods and decided that transparisteel would make deflating too difficult, right after we made several megatons of the material, too.
- CER Player - In the mission to fit and retrieve as much data from a recording, people went from using light sensitive film to CDs. To get data from CDs, people first used low frequency red lasers, and then high frequency blue lasers. The smaller the frequency, the more information you get. We took this idea and turned it up to 11. We made players that use cosmic electromagnetic radiation (CER) - which has sky-high frequencies - and made it possible to get so much information from a CD you could make love to it. The CER lasers we also sold to defense customers for other purposes, too. It was popular until someone took apart the case against the label warnings, looked into the laser, and died. Thanks to that idiot, CER lasers and CER Player sales went to 0, and governments of all purchasers of our CER technologies mandated recalls. Because we're smarter than idiots like that, we still use the technology throughout our research facilities.
- BSOS - Our computer scientists came up with an operating system to beat all other operating systems, closed and open alike. It's called BSOS, "Borderline Science Operating System," and it runs as if a god made it. The OS would take up next to no space on a computer, it would boot up as-is in a few hundred milliseconds, and would have built-in malware protection. It was naturally compatible with all software, regardless of the software's original design, and it was equipped with keyboard, mouse, bioscanner, video, audio, stylus, and tactile input drivers. We didn't anticipate that the OS was several decades ahead of its time, so there wasn't hardware that could run the software yet. The project stalled when it was completed, because we still hadn't made the right hardware for it.
- Rapers - We designed these bipedal mechanical beauties for the US DoD. They were fully loaded with several arsenals' worth of weaponry and ammunition, they could be used in any environment on or off Earth, could withstand extreme temperatures from almost 0 K to 2000 K, could function in environments between 0 g and 50g, and require a decently small amount of liquid hydrogen and liquid oxygen to function (excluding the power requirements of whatever weapons were installed). They were like human power suits without the human, performing tasks that humans were too weak or inaccurate to do in environments in which humans would be too fragile to survive, let alone labor intensively and efficiently. Essentially, they were general purpose war machines. Funding soon stopped for these because they seemed too expensive and useless, and the manner in which we tested the machines seemed too unethical. We didn't know it was illegal to pit Rapers against human test subjects. Maybe they thought we meant convicted rapists, rather than perfect war machines with superb intelligence and accuracy, in which case the decision makes more sense...
We used Science to learn and make many more things, such as dietary aids, new forms of transportation, military solutions, and even industrial processes, but those weren't quite as good or legal as some of our crowning achievements.
Awards and Recognition
We had news coverage, but those were mostly about our commercial failures, so we won't go over those. I don't think we won any awards yet, so we'll just move on. I will say that we did much better than the geniuses who helped alien invaders bring Earth to her knees - that failure speaks for itself.
Defense Contractors
If you require Applied Science for a solution, you came to the right company! Call one of our representatives today!
[M:977802]
