Post by microfarad on Dec 9, 2011 1:37:54 GMT
Post Your Local Christmas News!
Vashon News Report:
This Christmas Season is surely turning out nicely so far.
Fully in the Christmas spirit, 25 homeless people were evicted from a forest in which they had been living for years. The county is now planning to buy the land from its off-island owner and add it to the Island Center Forest, a public park.
Donation gathering elves were told by police that their well intended actions were blocking the single major intersection on the island. Thus ends the annual torture of bell jangling elves.
In other news, the Beachcomber (Vashon's only local paper) published an article re-examining the filthy plastic candy canes installed every year on telephone poles since the seventies. Apparently the funds to buy these ugly light wrapped fuzz-balls of plastic strips were purchased after the pharmacy was burned down by arsonists around 35 years ago, prompting a panicked effort to replace the festive decorations stored in its attic without breaking the bank.
The Beachcomber has also published an scathing article on this year's batch of holiday movies. Instead of the usual themes, where children bring divorced parents back together, families find the true meaning of Christmas, and mean people get visited by ghosts, the author suggests some alternate plot lines, where children rejoice at the fine compensation/bribery given by their divorced parents at Christmas, Rudolf meets his burned-out druggie uncle with a black-light nose (caused by 60s drug experiments), and Santa's "bowlfull of jelly" gives him a heart attack.
Hopefully, the town tree will be decorated in a spiral pattern this year, as any good Christmas tree should be. It is more likely, however, that the giant conifer by the library will be decked out in its customary vertical stripes like an oddly shaped fluorescent watermelon.
Apparently, local businesses have failed to capitalize in the increased community spirit around Christmas because the Beachomber is advertising it's own advertising space. Slots are filled with "Your advertisement here: Only $30" rather than festive hardware store advertisements and announcements about community events.
Vashon News Report:
This Christmas Season is surely turning out nicely so far.
Fully in the Christmas spirit, 25 homeless people were evicted from a forest in which they had been living for years. The county is now planning to buy the land from its off-island owner and add it to the Island Center Forest, a public park.
Donation gathering elves were told by police that their well intended actions were blocking the single major intersection on the island. Thus ends the annual torture of bell jangling elves.
In other news, the Beachcomber (Vashon's only local paper) published an article re-examining the filthy plastic candy canes installed every year on telephone poles since the seventies. Apparently the funds to buy these ugly light wrapped fuzz-balls of plastic strips were purchased after the pharmacy was burned down by arsonists around 35 years ago, prompting a panicked effort to replace the festive decorations stored in its attic without breaking the bank.
The Beachcomber has also published an scathing article on this year's batch of holiday movies. Instead of the usual themes, where children bring divorced parents back together, families find the true meaning of Christmas, and mean people get visited by ghosts, the author suggests some alternate plot lines, where children rejoice at the fine compensation/bribery given by their divorced parents at Christmas, Rudolf meets his burned-out druggie uncle with a black-light nose (caused by 60s drug experiments), and Santa's "bowlfull of jelly" gives him a heart attack.
Hopefully, the town tree will be decorated in a spiral pattern this year, as any good Christmas tree should be. It is more likely, however, that the giant conifer by the library will be decked out in its customary vertical stripes like an oddly shaped fluorescent watermelon.
Apparently, local businesses have failed to capitalize in the increased community spirit around Christmas because the Beachomber is advertising it's own advertising space. Slots are filled with "Your advertisement here: Only $30" rather than festive hardware store advertisements and announcements about community events.
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[img src="http://i.imgur.com/BKhxo.png[/img
