Post by Fringe Pioneer on Nov 16, 2010 18:10:55 GMT
I would love to see the faces on anyone following your guide as they realize, to their horror, that most of the cell towers stop functioning on account that the engineers and laborers necessary to keep the cell towers going have become zombies...
Simply put, cell phones aren't going to work for their intended purpose in post-apocalypse Earth. You could try cannibalizing the cellular phone to make something that doesn't require an artificial medium (e.g. cell towers, satellites, etc.), or you could pray to your unforgiving god that you have enough knowledgeable people in your caravan to bring a cell tower back up after fighting off the zombies that are likely to be surrounding it.
I would also like to see a plastic water bottle successfully used as a blunt weapon, let alone an effective one against zombies...
Oh, I almost forgot the faces of the people who attach batteries to leaf rakes. I can imagine it now...
Not-a-Zombie-X: Did you hook the battery to the metal rake yet? NaZ-Y: Yes, I just did. NaZ-X: Good, because here they come! Give me the rake, quick!
*NaZ-X prods the first zombie to approach with the rake. Nothing happens, except for the zombie getting annoyed.*
NaZ-X: Why isn't it working? NaZ-Y: I dunno, I just connected both ends of the battery to the rake! Isn't that how you make a closed circuit? NaZ-X: Of course - we didn't make a closed circuit! How could we be so stupid? Call for help while I hit the zombies with this water bottle!
*NaZ-X hits the horde of zombies, which had torn into his skin several times by now, with the office-sized water jug, which is a much safer bet than a personal water bottle. The zombie mob, apparently not hurt at all, continues to attack.*
NaZ-Y: Why do I keep getting the disconnect sound? Isn't the call going through?
*Zombie Feynman appears, courtesy of xkcd's comic about Mythbusters.*
ZF: You know, it doesn't take a Manhattan Project collaborator to know that you need cell towers for cell phones to work.
*Zombies attack, kill, mutilate, and "zombify" NaZ-X and NaZ-Y.*