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Post by Skribbblie on Sept 2, 2011 22:28:46 GMT
Oh, ouch dude, ya know, I would help, BUT YOU KILLED ME! However, I shall use my godly powers over common eating utensils to change all of the knives into forks. You're welcome.
I am stuck in an endless loop of orange and blue portals...
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Post by Deleted on Sept 2, 2011 22:44:14 GMT
I shove you into Soviet Russia, and the orange and blue portals get stuck in an endless loop of you. I have tooth with a hole that's been blocked up with a cyanide pill.
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Post by Likep on Sept 2, 2011 22:47:39 GMT
We have to yank it out. Unfortunately, all we have is a pick axe. Now close your eyes...
Mah foot is purple
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Post by Skribbblie on Sept 3, 2011 0:25:26 GMT
I take a picture of it and post it on the web, where it becomes viral and everyone laughs at your foot.
I have a problem.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2011 0:34:29 GMT
I can't solve it. My eye is itchy and I can see through the wall for some disturbing reason.
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Post by Skribbblie on Sept 3, 2011 3:43:12 GMT
I explain that it is not your eye that itches, it is the flea attached to the part of your brain that governs vision. Furthermore, the wall is made of glass. I suggest you see a brain surgeon or an eye doctor for the itch.
My eye is fine and I can't see through this wall for some disturbing reason.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2011 7:47:09 GMT
The wall is made of glass. Obviously your eye isn't fine... I have somehow been bitten by a Pholcus phalangioides, even though their fangs can't normally penetrate human skin.
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Post by Anonymousperson5 on Sept 3, 2011 15:28:58 GMT
Oh noes! I make your skin thicker! Too bad you weigh 50 pounds more.
Oh noes! A pound weighs 27 AP5s in Soviet Russia!
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Post by Deleted on Sept 3, 2011 22:57:06 GMT
You are crushed by a pound in Soviet Russia. The Pholcus phalangioides is the most venomous spider known to man, but their fangs can't penetrate our skin so there have been no instances where humans have been bitten (except for me) so there is no known cure! HALP!
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Post by Skribbblie on Sept 4, 2011 3:19:55 GMT
I have good news, there is nothing to worry about. Uh, but there's nothing I can do. *pulls out jar of green stuff* This will fix your broken leg.
I have contracted a common disease. I am over-encumbered and without any cure common disease potions. I'd really like to avoid dropping my clothes to get back to town...
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Post by Deleted on Sept 4, 2011 3:55:09 GMT
Here's the medicine. *Pulls out enormous syringe* Now, you may want to bite this pencil... GAHJLSHFBOAUIGNDE. I'VE BEEN BITTEN. HALP MEH.
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Post by Skribbblie on Sept 4, 2011 20:10:25 GMT
I wrap your wound in a band of gauze fashioned out of a barrel cactus. Thorns an' all.
I have got my head stuck in a boulder. Somehow.
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Post by mdog95 on Sept 5, 2011 15:05:56 GMT
I blow up the boulder with TNT to get your head unstuck.
I have a paper cut.
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Post by Skribbblie on Sept 6, 2011 6:26:02 GMT
I pour lime juice on it to destroy the jellyfish's nematocysts, and then I throw you into the sea with a medicinal anvil strapped to your face. Er, wait, what was i treating? Oh well, damn my assistants and their incompetence with medical charts.
I'm surrounded by idiots and they all have the common cold.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2011 7:44:05 GMT
Meh, go learn telekinesis. I am trapped in a field of cacti.
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Post by Skribbblie on Sept 7, 2011 1:16:34 GMT
I mow over the field in a fancy power mower. But I can't remember why...
I have short term memory loss. I think.
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Post by Draxorion on Sept 7, 2011 2:22:03 GMT
I send you to a hospital, and I operate on your brain. We have Skribbblie Brain Mash that night.
I am a nihilist.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 8, 2011 8:14:13 GMT
Kden. Here, try this. We'll beam up these inanimate holograms for you to slash at all day, in a hope to slowly ease off your craving for total destruction. I got stuck in Skribblie's power mower.
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Post by Draxorion on Sept 9, 2011 0:51:31 GMT
I happen to notice your corpse and take you out. I then leave NeonSaysRawr to deal with you.
I am unable to walk.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 9, 2011 7:00:36 GMT
Oh, that's... bad. While it is healing in this cast, we will supply you with this scooter. I'm glowing.
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Post by Draxorion on Sept 9, 2011 19:46:20 GMT
A number of glow worms decide to attempt mating with you.
I am addicted to watching walls.
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Post by Anonymousperson5 on Sept 9, 2011 22:49:06 GMT
The wall was NSR in disguise.
I am addicted to cutting grass.
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Post by Draxorion on Sept 9, 2011 22:54:33 GMT
You are normal, so I don't help you.
I am not an Early Bird.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 10, 2011 0:25:56 GMT
Mm, I see... I'll pour a bucket of water on your face at 3:30 A.M. so you're nice and ready, okay? I have hypothermia.
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Post by Draxorion on Sept 10, 2011 5:53:53 GMT
I place you into a burner.
I have cancer.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 11, 2011 9:34:15 GMT
And? I need a prosthetic limb.
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Post by Draxorion on Sept 11, 2011 19:04:52 GMT
The police tell you to go away and stop bothering them because you have homework, which isn't something that can really be fixed by anyone else...
I am blind.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2011 9:09:37 GMT
We'll give you a sonar stick while the bionic eye adjusts to your body. I bumped my knee...
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Post by mdog95 on Sept 13, 2011 12:35:04 GMT
I cut it off.
I got a splash of blood on me.
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Post by Draxorion on Sept 14, 2011 3:54:28 GMT
I splash so much blood on you that you become a red man. Then, you drown...
I am invisible.
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